The fear of writing and moving past it
I'm going to get a bit real here for this one. Authenticity is key for me so putting this out there is a must.
I started my first blog in 2015 just a couple of months into my first son's life. A new mom with a lot to say and no one to say it to, I thought blogging would be a great side hustle. I was new to my eco-friendly crunchy mama journey and I wanted to spread the word about it.
I spent many many nights and early mornings building my first blog from scratch on WordPress. It was hard but I designed it and then wrote about 3 introductory posts about mom life. I was so proud of everything I did. Then...crickets.
Life got busy and a couple more kids entered the scene. I bailed on blog #1 and started another one on a different platform. Same idea though, built from scratch to about 3 basic posts on complementary & alternative healing modalities. Again... crickets.
For years I have longed to write. To share knowledge, create an online business, a community. To help guide, nudge along and give back. I have no problem in the initial building and creating stages of a blog. This one included. I love it. The design part I get downright obsessed with. But the actual nitty-gritty work, the writing, the heart and soul of the blog I struggle with hard. Why?
The fear of actually putting my thoughts into words is terrifying. I can talk your ear off in person. I have no problem expressing an opinion or telling my life story. When I do, the only thing that comes to mind is word vomit. More often than not I don't know when to shut up and sometimes end up putting my foot in my mouth.
So why is blogging so difficult for me? I have years of knowledge and study to share. I have so much to give back. I want to do it. I have for years and yet here we are, I started this blog more than a month ago and I was well on my way to crickets for the 3rd time.
How do I find my writing voice? I found my speaking out voice over the last few years. I had no fear of what anyone thought of me then, so what makes blog writing any different? Is it the permanency of it? A story on social media disappears after 24hrs and with it whatever opinion I held. On the other hand, I think to myself that this blog is in its infancy and no one knows about it yet, so why am I so afraid of writing?
Maybe the fear goes away with consistent writing. Maybe finding my writing style and voice is a journey. Do I just continue to write and hone the skill while no one else is here actually reading it? That makes sense. I'm sure with every post published it will get easier. Maybe finding my creative voice happens as I go along. If I don't start though, I'll never move past fear into my creative purpose.
So, consistency it is.
" Fear is a reaction, Courage is a decision " - unknown
Please bear with me while I find my writing voice. I have so much to say and the fear of saying it has held me back long enough.
Thank you for holding this space for me while I create this space for you.